Hi! Welcome to another issue of Force Multipliers, your weekly briefing from Regina Gerbeaux, where Silicon Valley's behind-the-scenes operators get battle-tested frameworks for their toughest challenges, from putting out chaotic fires to managing strong personalities.

I was in a coaching session awhile ago with an operator who said something that made me pause.

This CEO said, "I ask people for their opinions... but I don't actually want them. I want alignment, not alternatives."

She continued: "When someone gives feedback that contradicts what I already believe, or doesn't meet my bar for clarity, I get frustrated. Then I explain why their opinion is 'bad' rather than engaging with it."

This pattern is way more common than you think. And the consequences are way more severe than most operators realize.

Let me tell you about Sarah (not her real name), an operator at a fast-growing e-commerce company called FlexTech (also not the real name).

Sarah was brilliant - Harvard MBA, incredible strategic mind, could see around corners that others couldn't. She'd built a reputation for making smart calls quickly.

But Sarah had developed a habit. She'd ask her team for input on decisions, then get visibly frustrated when their suggestions didn't align with her thinking. In meetings, you could see her jaw tighten when someone proposed what she considered a "bad idea." She'd ask follow-up questions that felt more like interrogations than genuine curiosity.

The problem wasn't that Sarah was making bad decisions. The problem was that she was eroding trust while making them.

Her closest team members started to notice. They'd spend hours preparing thoughtful responses to her requests for input, only to watch her dismiss their ideas, glaze over them, or bulldoze ahead with what she'd already decided. She failed to make them feel heard. She failed to consider their ideas.

One by one, her best people started leaving.

First, her Head of Product quit for a "better opportunity."

Then her VP of Marketing gave two weeks notice.

A close friend of hers - someone she'd worked with for years - took a role at a competing startup.

By the time I started coaching Sarah, FlexTech had raised over $100M but was hemorrhaging talent and heading toward bankruptcy. The company ended up folding twelve months later.

As I think back to FlexTech, the saddest part is that all of it could have been prevented if Sarah had learned to distinguish between two completely different things:

1. Asking for genuine input (when you're truly open to changing your mind)

2. Seeking validation (when you've already decided and want buy-in)

Both are valid! But mixing them up destroys trust and pushes your best people away.

Today, let’s talk about how to solicit opinion and validate decisions.

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The Operator’s Playbook on Genuine Input vs. Decision Validation

Step 1: Get brutally honest about your openness level 💡

Before you ask anyone for their opinion, ask yourself this question:

"On a scale of 1-10, how open am I to completely changing my mind based on what I hear?"

If you're at 8-10: Go ahead and ask for genuine input.

If you're at 1-4: Don't ask for input. Just communicate your decision clearly, and share why. Be careful when you use this - if you pull this card too often for big decisions, you risk becoming the Dictator in Chief and isolating your team.

If you're at 5-7: This is the danger zone. You might think you want input, but you're probably looking for validation. Proceed carefully.

Sarah's mistake was operating in that 5-7 range constantly. She'd convince herself she was being collaborative while unconsciously seeking confirmation of decisions she'd already made.

Step 2: Provide the right amount of context 💡

When you do ask for genuine input, set people up for success by giving them the full picture.

Sarah would often ask her team to weigh in on strategy decisions without sharing the context she'd been thinking about for weeks. Of course their responses felt shallow compared to her nuanced understanding.

Instead, try this format, written:

"I've been thinking about [decision] for the past few weeks. Here's the context I've been operating with: [share background, constraints, goals]. I'm genuinely torn between a few approaches and would love your perspective. Take some time to think about it, and write out questions you have and/or opinions you have. We’ll use [meeting] to discuss this before I make a final decision."

This gives people the foundation they need to provide meaningful input.

Step 3: Use the strawman approach 💡

When you're genuinely open to input but have a direction you're leaning toward, lead with that.

Say this: "I'm leaning toward Option A because of X, Y, and Z. But I want to make sure I'm not missing something. What's your take? What downsides I'm not seeing? Is there a completely different approach worth considering?"

Don't say this: "What do you think we should do?" (This sets people up to guess what you want to hear.)

The strawman approach shows your thinking while genuinely inviting challenge.

Step 4: When input contradicts your view, get curious 💡

This is where most operators fail. When someone disagrees with you, your first instinct might be to explain why they're wrong.

Instead, try these responses:

• "That's interesting. Help me understand your reasoning there."

• "I hadn't considered that angle. What would that look like in practice?"

• "What am I missing that makes you think this approach would work better?"

👉 Remember: The goal isn't to be convinced. The goal is to understand their perspective fully before you decide.

Step 5: Make the decision-making process explicit 💡

Be clear about who's making the decision and when.

For important decisions: "I want to get everyone's input over the next few days, then I'll make the call by Friday and communicate the direction to the team."

For decisions where they're the expert: "You know this area better than I do. After hearing my perspective, and collecting all the context - what do you think the right call is? I'll support whatever you decide."

Clarity prevents resentment. When people know how decisions get made, they're less likely to feel blindsided or ignored.

Step 6: Own it when you're seeking validation 💡

Sometimes you've already decided, and that's okay! Just be honest about it.

Say this: "I've decided we're going with Option A for these reasons: [explain reasoning]. I know this might not be everyone's first choice, but I need everyone on board. What questions do you have? What support do you need to make this successful?"

Don't say this: "What do you think about Option A?" (When you've already decided.)

People respect directness way more than fake collaboration.

Why this matters more than you think

Here's what most operators don't realize: Your best people can tell when you're fake-asking for input. They're smart. They notice patterns. And they hate having their time wasted more than they hate being told what to do.

When you consistently ask for opinions you don't want, you train your team that their input doesn't actually matter. Your highest performers - the ones with options - will leave for environments where their voices are genuinely valued.

Sarah learned this lesson too late. By the time she recognized the pattern, she'd already lost the trust of her core team. The company had too many other problems to solve, and she was standing on an island trying to fix them alone.

Don't let this be your story.

The next time you catch yourself about to ask for input, pause. Ask yourself: "Am I actually open to changing my mind, or am I looking for validation?" Then proceed accordingly.

Your team - and your company - will thank you for the honesty.

Until next time,

And if you’re reading this - you're already ahead.

Because you know where to find the stuff that’s actually good. Like my templates and resources, and this newsletter.

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Check out Coaching Founder for over a dozen free, downloadable Notion templates to use at your company, and tons of write-ups on how to level up your execs, your teams, and yourself.

About Regina Gerbeaux

Shortly after her role as Chief of Staff, then COO, she opened her own coaching practice, Coaching Founder, and has worked with outrageously talented operators on teams like Delphi AI, dYdX, Astronomer, Fanatics Live, and many more companies backed by funds like Sequoia and Andreessen Horowitz.

Her open-sourced write-ups on Operational Excellence and how to run a scaling company can be found here and her templates can be found here.

She lives in the Pacific Northwest with her husband, daughter, and Formosan Mountain Dog, and can be found frequenting 6:00AM Orangetheory classes or hiking trails nearby.